After weeks of Julie Chen-free Tuesday night episodes of "Big Brother 5," I finally get my first glimpse of the Hostess with the Mostess -- and she's glitter-free. Wearing sleeves, no less.

September 14's episode starts out predictably enough, as we're given a short recap of the game's last few days. Diane betrayed the girls' alliance by joining with Drew and Michael, and the trio devised a plan to get Karen evicted. It worked -- she was sent packing to the Sequester House, and Drew became Head of Household for the third time. Despite Diane and Nakomis' previous "pinky swear," the threesome gun for the Pierced One next. For the final Eviction, Drew puts up Diane and Nakomis.

We've actually made it to Day 75. After the eviction nominations, Diane confesses to Pretty Boy Drew that she's made two promises -- one to him, and one to Nakomis. If she wins the Veto, she might not be able to keep Michael in the game. Diane then swears on her sister's grave (isn't her sister still alive?) that she'll take her beloved Drew-baby all the way to the end. Aren't they adorable?

The Final Four have gathered in the living room for the live (well, tape delayed for yours truly) portion of our show. Julie admires Diane's new jacket, a piece of clothing that came from the recent Luxury Competition. Leave it to Julie Chen to notice fashion.

Ms. Chen asks the Four for some final thoughts. Nakomis thinks her and Michael's dad would think it's "cool" his two children made it this far. Drew has been living by his twin-brother creed: "Step by step." It's not just the title of a Patrick Duffy/Suzanne Somers sitcom -- it's a lifestyle.

Meanwhile, at the "Big Brother" Sequester House, all is not rosy. Will, Marvin and their arch enemy Adria (who explains that her twin Natalie is laid up in bed with a "bug") wait at the door for their newest roommate. If it's Diane, Marvin would like to "stab [her] in the eye with a chicken bone." Now that's something I'd like to see.

They're surprised when Karen walks through the door. She asks for a back door to come in from and the joke is lost. Karen's videotape of selected "Big Brother" scenes thrills and delights her compatriots, however, and she later bemoans that stinky "bad eggs" are all that remain at the "BB" house.

Back at said smelly abode, it's time for the Golden Power of Veto competition. One by one, the final four House Guests are taken out of seclusion to the backyard, and they're asked to plug electrical cords into outlets beneath gigantic, light-up pictures of the "BB5" players. The goal? Start with the first person to win a Veto and end with the latest winner. The player who strings the cords correctly in the fastest time wins the Veto.

Drew proves his Pretty Boy status by having to fix his cords at least a half-dozen times. His worst mistake is forgetting the time he won the Veto. Nice job, Einstein. Next, Diane gets her order correct upon the second try -- also because she'd forgotten Drew won the Veto (and used it on her). Michael rocks the casbah, getting the order right on the first try. Nakomis, despite wanting desperately to remain in the house another week, also gets the order on her second go-'round.

When all is said and done, the big loser is Drew (who took over 14 minutes to complete the task), and the winner of the Golden Veto is Michael. His time: a scant 2 minutes plus.

Nakomis immediately begins to campaign for Michael's sympathy. First, she stretches the truth, telling Michael that Jase and Scott asked her to take Michael to the Final Two. Next, she uses the ol' "family" excuse: "Blood is thicker than water ... I would take you. You're America's Favorite Cowboy!" In the Diary Room, Michael scores points for rednecks everywhere when he says he believes Nakomis is trying to take him for a ride.

Later, Nakomis is in the backyard crying. When asked why, Nakomis goes postal and starts screaming at the top of her lungs. "I'm going nuts! I don't know what's going on!" she shouts, adding that she's usually way more in control. Diane tries to hide her laughter, and Michael offers a modicum of brotherly concern.

"I've never seen anyone cry that much and not shed a tear," says Diane to the Diary cameras.

The next day, Diane makes her own play for Michael's Veto vote -- and it's obvious where his loyalties lie. Diane stops short of promising him her first born child for his promise to keep her in the game. Michael, unfortunately, is a man of his word.

During the commercial break, CBS asks: "Do you have what it takes to be on 'Big Brother'?" God, I hope not.

Finally, it's time for the Eviction. Like Julie over-explained earlier, all Michael has to do is give his Veto to one of the girls and the other has to leave the house. Naturally, Michael uses it on Diane, sending his own flesh and blood packing.

After watching Diane wonder aloud if she can use the bathroom before the commercial break, Nakomis joins Julie for a little post-house tete-a-tete. There are no hard feelings; she isn't surprised she got evicted, and she doesn't like Michael very much despite a familial bond. If he were in the Final Two, she wouldn't give him her vote. "That sounds a little bit bitter," says Julie. Nakomis says she has her reasons.

The Final Head of Household competition (hooray!) gets underway. Like last season, it's a three round process. The first round involves standing on top of poles whilst holding on to a giant key with at least one hand. The longest to stand there, wins. To add insult to injury, the platform those poles are planted in shakes. Julie calls it a nod to "Earthquake Country," but it looks like a "Big Brother" Production Assistant is laying underneath the platform using a jackhammer.

This Friday (since Thursday's episode is pre-empted), all will be revealed. Either Michael, Drew or Diane will be guaranteed a spot in the Finale Two. It's the home stretch, kids. Rejoice.